


demons in the dark (secrets all we've got)

by biochemprincess



Category: 12 Monkeys (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post 2x01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biochemprincess/pseuds/biochemprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I want ---" Her lips on his throat.</p><p>"I want ---" Her lips on his jaw.</p><p>"I want." Her lips on his mouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	demons in the dark (secrets all we've got)

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before seeing the promo and sneak peek for 2x02, so this is not canon compliant. (Not that it ever would've been, but that's another story.)
> 
> Title from Speeding Cars by Walking On Cars

They agreed on a no killing rule for tonight, declared a truce of weapons not yet fired.

(It might have something to do with Jennifer jumping off the rooftop into a dumpster and running into the dark night with the virus and _really_ , they didn’t want to kill each other.)

Cole took a long look at Cassie, saw the sharp edges of survival breaking her innermost light like a kaleidoscope. Her hand heavy with the weight of a gun once unfamiliar, now it wasn't even shaking anymore.

“Jennifer’s death is not the solution to stopping the plague.”

Cassie closed her eyes and swallowed. “Can’t save everyone.”

He stopped in his tracks.

This wasn't right. Cassie didn't say such things. She was a doctor. She saved lives. She cared about everybody. She fed the good wolf.

_('44? How long were you there? Eight months.)_

“I thought that was the point.”

"Not anymore."

 

-

-

-

 

They found a cheap hotel nearby, the young bleary - eyed receptionist not asking any question, just taking the cash and they were given a key. It was their second meeting all over again, though this time with a lot less blood and less bullet holes.

And less pain.

_(For him, at least.)_

He couldn't speak for Cassie.

Cole threw a concerned glance in her direction, but she was completely oblivious. He wasn't naive enough to think she didn't notice, she simply chose to ignore him.

Everything about her was different, somehow.

Her spine, straighter, filled with steel. Her walk, faster, more determined. Her eyes, always looking in the dark corners, trying to spot the enemy.

Once upon a time, he had tried to teach her just the same behaviour, but he never wanted it to be like this.

The room was barely more than a better broom closet, the paint peeling from the walls. The floor was littered with stains of various origins, none Cole wanted to investigate any further. Two small beds were pushed together at the back of one wall. On the left side of the room a door led to a bathroom, though every public rest room toilet would put it to shame.

He didn't mind, his standards weren't too high.

And neither were Cassie's.

"We should try to find Jennifer." Cassie said immediately, taking the gun from her trousers and putting it on the bedside table.

"I don't think that's a good idea. We need a plan first." He countered.

"Cole --- We can't wait. We need to stop the plague. The virus can't wait."

_What happened to you?_

The words were on his tongue, poisoning his mouth, but Cole could still bite them back. He knew what happened to her. The same that had happened to him, happened to everyone.

"Cole - Look. I don't want to fight with you. I don't want any of this. 

"You sound like Jones."

"She's right."

"She is ruthless.

Cassie peeled herself out of her leather jacket and threw it on the chair near her. "She has to be. So have I. So have you."

They stared at each other in a fight for dominance, both of them trying to gain the upper hand.

"Cassie.", his voice a whisper in the dark.

And then she surprised him.

She pulled her t - shirt over her head, until all she was wearing was a flimsy black thing of a bra. Cole wanted to say something - anything - but the connection between his mouth and his brain was barely existent on a good day and right now ---

"Cassie ---"

She didn't listen.

"Cass. I know."

He could see tears shining in the back of her eyes, shoved back by the need to show strength, the need to survive.

"I won't splinter back until tomorrow morning." she said, regaining some of the composure she'd lost.

Cole nodded absently. "What do you really want?"

Cassie came closer, putting her hands around his neck, pulling him closer and closer.

"I want ---" Her lips on his throat.

"I _want_ \---" Her lips on his jaw.

"I want." Her lips on his mouth.

A spark of electricity shot through them, the urge to be closer to her overwhelming. He lifted her up with his hands on her waist, until she wrapped her legs around his hips. They staggered back, until Cassie's back met the wall. He kissed he with a ferocity that surprised even himself and let himself be kissed by her until the world faded to nothing around them.

Cole got it - _he did_ \- the raw bleeding wound of survival, the need, the want. But he also knew that this was not what this should be. What they should be. He drew back and looked into her clouded eyes. Her face was illuminated by the light coming through an old window.

She remained silent for a few more moments, only her heartbeat audible. But he wouldn't answer this question for her.

"I want it back. I want _me_ back. I want it to stop hurting." There was an edge of desperation to her voice. "How did you do it for so long? Not lose hope."

"I didn't have hope. You can't lose something you don't have. So I just didn't have any hope. But then I met you."

He waited for a reaction - shock, to be more specific - anything that would indicate surprise. But there was only a quiet knowledge in her eyes, a softness that had been missing the last few hours and only now returned back to her.

They wouldn't lie to each other.

But they also didn't have words for what they felt, for what they were. To themselves and to each other.

A siren, loud through the hotel room window, broke the silence of their moment. Cassie flinched at the noise, the need to run overtaking her body. The pivotal reflexes of survival.

Quietly, he smoothed his hands down her shoulders and upper arms, taking some of the tension away.

He knew, he remembered too.

And Cole hated himself that he was the one who did this to her, damned her to experience, the same kind of hell he lived most of his life. Nobody deserved to know, least of all her. Soft people didn't deserve to walk through hell.

But Cassie had survived. She came back.

But he couldn't help thinking about the price she'd had to pay.

"You are back. I've got you."

Apparently that was reason enough, because Cassie closed the gap between them and put her lips on his again. Time flew or time stood still, he couldn't tell after a while anymore. All he knew was Cassie's weight in his arms, the feeling of having her back.

Cole carried her towards the bed and softly put her on the mattress, then slowly began untying her show laces and pulling down her trousers. All the while he waited for a sign to stop, but all she did was urge him to go faster.

"You sure?" Cole asked again, to be sure.

Cassie straddled him; her finger tips softly caressing his temple, the stubble on his cheek and jaw.

Somehow she produced a condom out of thin air and he almost wanted to ask her how, but then Cassie slid her tongue into his mouth again and the thought got lost in the ether. Instead he said:

"You're gorgeous."

His hands wandered over her body, fingers ghosting over her ribs. She was warm and steady and with him. The words tumbled over his lips over and over again. Part of him knew he shouldn't want this, want her. Time wasn't on their side, the future tearing them apart at every given moment.

Then Cassie suddenly laughed happily, a strangely foreign sound. "I've never been with a younger man before." she breathed into his ear.

Laughter bubbled in his chest. Cole flipped them until Cassie was pinned beneath him and paid close attention to her breasts.

"Well, then I should probably show you all the advantages of a boy toy."

His hips rocked against hers, to drive the point home. _(Literally.)_

"How do you know about that?" Cassie sighed, melting under his touch.

"You mean boy toy? Read it in Cosmopolitan."

"Cole?"

"Uh - uh."

"Stop teasing. That's rude."

"If you ask nicely." He answered with a smug grin.

Cassie arched her back, put her mouth on his neck and bit down gently, but with enough force to leave a mark.

_Nice enough._

Cole wanted to live in this moment forever, where time stood still. It was only them - no plague, no death, not the weight of the world on their shoulders. Only Cassie and Cole, two ordinary people caught in a quiet hotel room in the city that never slept.

_One couple in a million._

He could feel Cassie coming closer to her climax as he approached his own. Part of him wanted to close his eyes, but Cole didn't want to miss a single moment. He watched emotions play on Cassie's face, her eyes light and relaxed, her cheeks flushed. 

She was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.

 

-

-

-

 

Later, after their respective trips to the small bathroom, they lay together in the darkness of the room, protected by the shadows of the night. Her head lay on his chest and Cole ran his fingers lazily through her long soft strands of hair.

"Don't lose hope, Cass. Don't lose yourself."

He could feel her breath catch, but she didn't move a fraction. "Says the man who never had hope."

Cole would've laughed, if it wasn't for the dire topic of their discussion. "Maybe we need to trade places."

"Maybe."

"Cass ---"

Her arms wrapped around him and squeezed.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk at all."

All through the night until the sun rose again they clung to each other, their legs tangled together.

(They didn't talk about _any_ of it.)

And when Cassie splintered back, he wished he could go with her, keep the loneliness at bay.

Instead he got back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me @ mightyjemma.tumblr.com. I'd love to know what you think about it, so let me know :)


End file.
